As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take
things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary
mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about
them, or how they fit with your personal value system.
ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new
experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention.
They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.
ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the
role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their
personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other
people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. They are very
observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone
before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They
might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory
and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.
ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have
fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration
to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place
more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties
and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their
For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of
attention and perform for people. They're constantly putting on a show for
others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other
people's senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than
for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving
ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts
is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and
genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with
their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once
crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgement against
the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a
The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives
thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world
of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort
to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global
statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may
not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by
allowing them to get over it.
ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and
routine. They like to "go with the flow", trusting in their ability to
improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with
"hands-on" experience, rather than by studying a book. They're
uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn't developed their intuitive side,
they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking,
or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty
in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where
they're allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they
"learn by doing".
ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an
excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they're likely to
have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In
general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They're likely
to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food
and good wine.
The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any
problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for
getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to
use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into
structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new
experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of
diversity, as well as people skills.
ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a
connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other
types. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature
The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like
to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be
with. They're flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually
kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but
they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the
ESFPs are fun and delightful to be with. They live for the moment, and know
how to make the most of each moment. They are genuinely, warmly interested in
people, and love to make others happy. They're usually very kind-hearted and
generous, and are always going out of their way to do something nice for
someone. Their affection is simple, straight-forward and honest. They dislike
theory and complexities. They often resist forming relationships which require
them to function on a high Intuitive or Thinking level. They prefer for things
to be light and happy, although their warmth and affection runs deep. Their
potential downfall is the tendency to live entirely for the present moment, and
therefore to sometimes be unaware of the direction that their relationship is
heading, or to be easily distracted from long-term commitments.
- Enthusiastic and fun-loving, they make everything enjoyable
- Clever, witty, direct, and popular, people are drawn towards them
- Earthy and sensual
- Down to earth and practical, able to take care of daily needs
- Artistic and creative, they're likely to have attractive homes
- Flexible and diverse, they "go with the flow" extremely well
- They can leave bad relationships, although it's not easy
- Try to make the most of every moment
- Generous and warm-hearted
- May be frivolous and risky with money
- Tend to be materialistic
- Extreme dislike of criticism, likely to take things extremely personally
- Likely to ignore or escape conflict situations rather than face them
- Lifelong commitments may be a struggle for them - they take things one day
at a time
- Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
- Tendency to neglect their health, or even abuse their bodies
- Always excited by something new, they may change partners frequently
ESFPs as Lovers
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the
positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment,
and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." --
ESFPs embrace their love relationships in a Big way - similar to the way they
approach their lives in general. They love to be in love, and will try to make
the most of each moment. They take things on a day-by-day basis, and are
uncomfortable thinking too much about the future, or making plans far in
advance. For this reason, ESFPs are not natural long-term commitment people.
They may feel tremendously committed on a day-by-day basis, but they do not
naturally plan for their futures.
This commitment issue is a potential pitfall for the ESFP. Many people of
this type overcome this potential weakness, and become involved in truly
satisfying, lifelong relationships. Others do not address this weakness, and
move from relationship to relationship without forming real commitments,
convincing themselves that this is what they truly want.
Sexually, the ESFP is a very earthy and sensual individual who seeks and
enjoys intimate contact with their partners. Living in the here-and-now, they
throughly embrace and enjoy the experience with all five senses. They are
generous and warm, and highly interested in making their partners happy.
ESFPs tend to be materialistic, and somewhat caught up in "what others
think" of them. They should take care that this doesn't interfere with
their personal relationships, since many of the others types will not be able to
relate to their perspectives on these matters.
ESFPs do not handle conflict well at all. They take any sort of criticism
very personally, and consider it to be a general indictment of their character.
They may react with anger and harsh words which they would later like to take
back. ESFPs would do themselves a favor if they would come to realize that
criticism can be looked at constructively, rather than destructively. If they
can hear criticism without feeling personally threatened, the ESFP will have
come a very long way towards greatly improving the strength and health of their
ESFPs are extremely literal and concrete when communicating. They say things
in a very direct, abrupt manner, and can sometimes even unintentionally seem
quite harsh. They like things to be communicated to them in a similar, concrete
fashion. They dislike theory and abstraction, and will frequently misunderstand
the jist of a communication if it is not communicated in a factual,
present-tense manner. Discussions regarding the future or the past are not the
ESFP's strong suit, and in fact they're likely to miscontrue future-looking
statements as something that needs immediate attention. When they discover that
the discussion is not regarding an immediate concern, they become disinterested.
ESFPs are in general very warm and giving people, with simple needs and
demands from their partners. They just want to be happy, and want to bring
happiness to others. They are energetic and popular individuals who will liven
up the social life of the couple, and keep many new experiences on the horizon.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy
relationship, ESFP's natural partner is the ISTJ,
or the ISFJ. ESFP's dominant
Extraverted Sensing function is best matched with a personality that is
dominated by Introverted Sensing. How
did we arrive at this?
ESFPs as Parents
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran
The ESFP's "go with the flow", fun-loving attitude will extend to
the raising of their children. They are warm and affectionate parents, and are
great for giving practical care to their children. They like to do things in a
Big way, and enjoy big families.
The ESFP will freely give love and affection to their children, but they
frequently have a problem with defining a structured, orderly environment for
them, and they may rely on their mates in this regard. Ultimately, the ESFP
likely believes that too much structure is not a healthy thing for anyone, and
so they're unlikely to enforce a highly structured or disciplined environment.
If this trait is strongly present in the ESFP, and is not counteracted by their
mate's perspective, it could be considered a potential pitfall for the ESFP
parent. Children need some structure which can be depended upon as they grow up.
The ESFP is very practical and concrete in their daily needs, and are usually
quite good at taking care of their children's daily needs. Although their
approach to life is frequently "ad-lib", and their lives are almost
always extremely full of exciting events, the ESFP is very good at juggling many
things at once, which makes them especially good at handling the various issues
which come up in a large family.
ESFPs tend to have difficulty with the authoritarian role, preferring to be
their children's friend. However, they do expect to be given respect and to be
obeyed when necessary, and will fall into the role of parental authoritarian at
times. This can be frustrating for some children, especially those with strong
Judging tendencies, as they will not know what to expect from their ESFP parent.
ESFPs are usually remembered fondly by their children for being fun-loving,
upbeat, and affectionate, although somewhat scattered.
ESFPs as Friends
ESFPs are highly enthusiastic and effervescent. They are usually very
popular, because people are naturally drawn towards them. They get such genuine
delight and enjoyment from experiences which they encounter in life, and they
love nothing better than to draw a crowd of people along with them for the sheer
fun of it. ESFPs try to turn every day into a party, and they're usually
successful at doing so.
ESFPs are highly valued for their ability to have a good time, and for their
genuine warmth and interest towards people. They are extremely in tune with
their five senses, and may be prone to overload them with too much alcohol,
food, or drugs. They get along with all sorts of people, although they're not
interested in spending time with people who they find boring, or who expect the
ESFP to communicate with them on an Intuitive or Thinking level. Some people may
disapprove of the ESFP's fun-oriented lifestyle. Others may be put off by their
very stright-forward and blunt speaking style. The ESFP is likely to especially
enjoy spending time with other Extraverts who have the Feeling preference,
although they may have a special place in their hearts for people of any